Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
