found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
even my farts smell like vagina
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
