gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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