is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
