Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I think my moral compass just broke
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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