i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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