You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
