she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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