do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
They should really pass out barf bags in church
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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