I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
