either way he was missing a nipple.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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