i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
