Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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