i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
