so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
