his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
