I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
