Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
