hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
We talked him into tasing himself.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I'm bleeding and have questions
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
