Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
