Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Randomize
