remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Randomize
