i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
We need to rekindle our bromance
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
