HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
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