i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Randomize
