3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Go christen that room with your naked body.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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