Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
