my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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