is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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