Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
