ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
