you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
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