Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
