so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
