Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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