so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
