I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
