walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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