I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
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