this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
