This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
