I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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