I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
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