Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
