I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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