literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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