Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
The adults are the big ones right?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
