mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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