My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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