There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
