Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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