glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
