Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
