how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
he puts the penis in happiness.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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