Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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