I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
