Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Randomize
