now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
